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Feedback? Comments? Email MyBestYears.com now
Or write:
Or write:
- MyBestYears.com
PO Box 2972
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| FAQs CONTACT US SHOPPING CENTER RED HATTER SHOPPING ADVERTISE TERMS OF USE All contents © MyBestYears.com. No portion may be used in print, for broadcast or on the Internet without prior permission. Contact: admin@MyBestYears.com |
One flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get
in it!"
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.
The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited,
smile, and say "Thanks for flying our airline."
In light of his bad landing, the first officer had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking
that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady
walking with a cane. She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'
"Why, no, ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
Reportedly as a plane landed and was coming
to a stop at Ronald Reagan International
Airport in Washington, a lone voice came
over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella,
WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during
thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant
on a flight announced, "Please take care
when opening the overhead compartments
because everything sure as hell has shifted
after a landing like that."
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated
as Captain Kangaroo bounces us over to the terminal."
behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......
except for that good-looking gentleman over there."
After a very hard landing in Salt Lake City, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump, and I know what you all are thinking. I'm here to tell you that it wasn't the airline's fault...it
wasn't the pilot's fault...it wasn't the flight attendant's fault...it was the asphalt!"
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant
piped up on the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please
remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew
have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the
gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you
can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal!"
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd
like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the
next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through
the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of our airline."
Heard on a flight somewhere over North Carolina: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the
smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
A plane departed from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made
an announcement over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to
Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore,
we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed. Finally after a few minutes, the captain clicked the intercom back on and said, "Ladies
and Gentlemen, I apologize. I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant
accidentally spilled a cup of very hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
Back in the midsection of the plane an elderly woman piped up, "That's nothing. You should see the
back of mine!"
in it!"
- On landing, the flight attendant gave final instruction over
the intercom: "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.
If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have. "
Explaining the exit aisles: "There may be 50 ways to leave
your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.
The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited,
smile, and say "Thanks for flying our airline."
In light of his bad landing, the first officer had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking
that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady
walking with a cane. She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'
"Why, no, ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
Reportedly as a plane landed and was coming
to a stop at Ronald Reagan International
Airport in Washington, a lone voice came
over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella,
WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during
thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant
on a flight announced, "Please take care
when opening the overhead compartments
because everything sure as hell has shifted
after a landing like that."
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated
as Captain Kangaroo bounces us over to the terminal."
- Overheard on an flight into the Texas Panhandle on a
particularly windy and bumpy day after a hard landing:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo . Please
remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened
while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to
the gate!"
More pre-flight instructions: "Your seat cushions can
be used for flotation, so in the event of an emergency
water landing, please paddle to shore and take them
with our compliments."
behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......
except for that good-looking gentleman over there."
After a very hard landing in Salt Lake City, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump, and I know what you all are thinking. I'm here to tell you that it wasn't the airline's fault...it
wasn't the pilot's fault...it wasn't the flight attendant's fault...it was the asphalt!"
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant
piped up on the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please
remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew
have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the
gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you
can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal!"
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd
like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the
next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through
the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of our airline."
Heard on a flight somewhere over North Carolina: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the
smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
A plane departed from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made
an announcement over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to
Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore,
we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed. Finally after a few minutes, the captain clicked the intercom back on and said, "Ladies
and Gentlemen, I apologize. I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant
accidentally spilled a cup of very hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
Back in the midsection of the plane an elderly woman piped up, "That's nothing. You should see the
back of mine!"
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