MyBestYears.com has definitely kept their end of the bargain. They have given us free rein, even when they have
caught occasional flak when we dare to mention words such as lubrication, self-pleasuring, oral sex and the like.
“What’s with all that perverted crap?” began one letter. (Okay, the writer used a different word.)
“Don’t you think those statistics and stories are a little risqué?” emailed another.
Frankly, we wondered at times if we would receive a deluge of responses like that.
A OUTPOURING OF WONDERFUL RESPONSE
Instead, we have received letters and emails from a fairly equal number of men and women who tend to reflect the
feelings of this great-great-grandmother from Pennsylvania:
Thank you for helping me to see that what I was feeling was totally normal. I have been told by
everyone, it seems, that when I reached seventy, I was crazy to think that I’d still have such
intense feeling about intimacy. My husband bought into that it’s-all-over idea for awhile, but I’ve
done some of the things you explained in some of the early Seasoned Romance columns, and he
liked the results good enough that he began reading them, too, even going back through the
archives. Our life is so much better today than it was a couple of years ago. The only thing that has
changed is our attitude toward romance. And what a difference it has made!
Or imagine our delight to read this message from an eighty year old gentleman from New Zealand:
I read a few Seasoned Romance articles with some distaste. I thought, `Why not just leave it
alone?’ And yet I had such a hope deep inside that what you were saying was true. Then I began to
understand that what I was really feeling was something close to a panic. I had lost my wife of over
fifty years five years ago. As time went along, I knew I eventually wanted companionship, but I was
totally overwhelmed with fear. Both my wife and I were virgins when we got married. We are all
each other ever knew, though it was very good for most of the years until we both had health
problems toward the end of her life. I wondered if I could ever dream of being romantic again. Hell,
I doubted if I could ever get up for the occasion, if you know what I mean. It was terrifying.
Well, you wrote that one of the greatest steps toward sexual fulfillment among older people was to
begin a wellness and fitness program. It was horrible at first, but I soon found that I was enjoying
eating better things and exercising. Then I noticed a lot of the old sensual feeling returning this
old bloke’s body.
To make a rather long letter a bit shorter, I met a woman more than a year ago. We were married
just over a month ago. Our honeymoon in Hawaii was spectacular. I’m a gentleman, so that’s all I’d
All I know is that Seasoned Romance changed my life. I’m not afraid of trying new things and sexual
products with my lovey, and she has really gotten into it, too. Please let others know that it really
can get better and better. I am living proof.
Both of us shed a few tears over that one. And we continue to be amazed again and again
at what two old codgers who spent a lifetime mostly doing research and writing for others
could share a few things that would help men and women around the world discover (and
re-discover) romance. That is humbling, to say the least.
And it is also invigorating, so we have more resolve than ever to share research and
stories from people just like you who are also “living proof” that older really can be better.
As part of our resolve, we want to share more practical information about some of our
sponsors and business partners concerning health products, sexual enhancements (such
as Bomba), libidinal aids (see below) and romantic suggestions.
You see, research continues to show that sexual activity in old age is challenged more by ill health than lack of
The New England Journal of Medicine recently reported on a wide-ranging study on the relevance of health and
sexuality among men and women between the age of 57 and 85. It examined sexual behaviors, problems, and
Are you ready for the good news?
After researching 3,005 participants, the survey found that a surprisingly
large number of men and women continue to be sexually active (as in
intercourse, oral sex, self- and mutual-pleasuring) well into their eighties
And here is the really good news: The frequency of sexual activity among the 57-
85 year olds who participated in the study was surprisingly similar to that of 18-to-
59-year-olds (based upon a National Health and Social Life Survey).
Even among the oldest respondents (ages 75-85), an average of 54 percent of
sexually active men and women reported having sex at least two to three times per
month. Nearly one fourth of the same age group reported enjoying sex at least
once a week or more.
Over half of all the respondents engaged in some form of oral sex and self- or
mutual-pleasuring during the previous twelve months.
For starters, this is great news for anyone over fifty (and those who eventually will
The research is one of many studies showing that older adults are interested and
active in sexual fulfilment, regardless of age.
Yes, sexual activity and drive does decline with age, but it is for different reasons than merely advancing age. Less
frequency with sex is more accurately attributed to not having an intimate partner or more likely because of problems
with physical health.
NO LONGER TABOO
Too often it has been a taboo or uncomfortable topic. No more!
More than ever, this research should help health professionals to begin considering their role in
helping seniors to understand how important sex is in their lives. Of course, that would require interest
in actually asking older patients how satisfied they are with their sex lives and what problems they are
having to inhibit sexual fulfillment.
And no longer should sex products and enhancements be relegated to the younger set. Especially as
more and more Baby Boomers age, they will hopefully expect and demand tailored performance
products, healthier lifestyles, sexual toys, high-tech lubricants, educational tools—whatever it takes to
have great sex at any age.
Back in 1966 the Beatles sang, “We gonna have a revolution!”
Thankfully, there is one still taking place in the bedrooms of men and women over fifty. And we will do everything in
our power to bring you the research and information to encourage you to be—as the MyBestYears.com banner says,
“older, wiser, healthier and better!”
As they say in France, “Viva la revolucion!”
Better yet, “Viva Seasoned Romance!”
VIVA LA ROMANCE!
...Especially Seasoned Romance
When we agreed to do the Seasoned Romance eColumn for MyBestYears.com, it was with the understanding that we
could explore anything dealing with romance, human behaviour and sexual expression—all the areas that we have been
researching and writing for clients during past decades.
“Keep it in good taste,” they said, “but do whatever you can to let those wonderful men and women over fifty, all over the
world, to know that it is okay to have romantic feelings and to act on them. We hate the sick jokes about elderly people
who don’t `have it’ anymore and the tasteless `dirty old man’ stories. We want Seasoned Seniors to understand that their
best years aren’t behind them, and that they can have very fulfilling romance and sex as long as they have breath to
blow out the birthday candles every year.”