After all the research, and now that both of us have enough candles on our birthday cakes to set off fire alarms, we
are more emphatic than ever that you can have romance throughout your live, especially as seniors.
Sure, hormone levels drop for all of us—men and women. Men often find that interest levels sometimes lag and
response time slows. Women often lose some or all natural lubricant and the vaginal walls become less pliable and
As we get older, there are a number of things that can interfere with romance and desire, from physical ailments
(including diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and arthritis) to the medications that we take to help
alleviate our physical ailments.
Still, is it possible to have a better, more fulfilling love life than ever before?
You bet, and it all comes down to the choices that you make. So, we offer nine simple ways to begin to make
romance more divine in 2009:
- Make the choice to be romantic. That sounds simple enough, but how? Sit close to each other on the
couch when you watch TV. Move those recliners close and hold hands. Set aside time for romance. Go to
bed an hour earlier than normal and snuggle. Read something romantic to each other—poems, short stories,
articles. Don’t feel pressure to have intercourse. Enjoy the romance. Sex should be a by-product, not the be-
all. In fact, some of your most memorable romantic times may not involve intercourse at all.
- Listen to music. Make it a fun challenge to find romantic music that you had forgotten or never knew. Try
classical. Don’t forget the doo-wop. Blues—oh, yeah! Heck, some of the new stuff isn’t half bad. And when
you listen to music together, focus on each other and the feelings the music brings you.
- Kiss like you’ve never kissed before. Pecks on the cheek are okay, but don’t stop there. Decide to
become the best kisser you can be. It takes lots of practice, but the practice can be mighty fun as you follow
wherever it leads. By the way, don’t forget the mouthwash or mints.
- Have candlelight dinners—at home or restaurants. There is simply something special about candlelight
moments together. Don’t forget the soft music, flowers, adoring gazes and sensual enjoyment as you dine
together. By the way, don’t rush. CSI or HGTV can wait. You’ve got something better to do.
- Give each other massages. Back massages. Foot massages. Full body massages. Hand massages. Who
doesn’t like these? If you don’t know how, get books or DVDs explaining the best techniques. Intercourse
doesn’t have to be the end-result. Sometimes it’s better to just enjoy the relaxing glow!
- Spend time outdoors together, whenever possible. Sit together and hold hands at sunrise or sunset.
Take walks together and drink in the amazing sights, sounds and smells.
- Get to know your own body and your feelings better. It’s not “dirty.” It’s helpful. Read books. Explore.
Discover (or re-discover) where you enjoy being touched. Self pleasure, with or without your partner, can be
a great way to ignite shared romance.
- Surprise your partner every day. Say something positive that you’ve never said before. Buy small
surprise gifts for your partner. The gifts need not be expensive, but should show thought—flowers, a balloon,
candy, a card. Offer these surprises with a smile, expecting nothing in return.
- Communicate. Listen more than you talk. Ask, “How does that make you feel?” questions. Seek to find out
something new about the way your partner sees your relationship and seeks to be more romantic. Don’t
hesitate to ask your partner what they would like you to do, in terms of romance. You may discover that they
eventually start asking you what you would like them to do.
“But what if my partner hates all this attention,” you may ask. It happens. The
only person who likes change is a wet baby. Change is challenging. Change
makes us feel uncomfortable. Change forces us to move into uncharted
territory. But change is also the catalyst to make things better.
You may feel silly and downright stupid at first, especially if your partner
doesn’t react the way you want them to at first. Stick to it. Don’t give up. You
deserve a life filled with romance, and it starts with you and your choices to
be more romantic!
We wish you romance,
ROMANCE AND CHOICES
...Nine Ways to Make Romance Divine!
Okay, let’s take stock. You’re older, and as we’ve often heard in our research through the years, “It just isn’t
“It” usually refers to sex.
During decades of research in the areas of aging, health and sexuality, we have heard the questions again
"Is it wrong for me to want romance at my age?"
"Now that I'm older, what should I expect? Do I just give up on love and sex?"