Remember the "oxymoron" jokes that were passed around the Internet a few years
ago?

  • Act naturally
  • Resident alien
  • Good grief
  • Sanitary landfill
  • Same difference
  • Butt head
  • Synthetic natural gas
  • Peace force
  • Extinct life
  • Pretty ugly
  • Freezer burn

The Webster Dictionary defines oxymoron as "a combination of contradictory or
incongruous words". The word oxymoron (plural: oxymora) itself is derived from the
Greek for something that is "pointedly foolish."

We got the following questions passed along from Beverly Sparkman in Oklahoma that
take a new twist on oxymorons. We hope you get some well-deserved chuckles from
them!

  • Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

  • If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

  • Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

  • Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

  • Why do "tug" boats "push" their barges?

  • Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball
  • game" when we are already there?

  • Why are bleachers called "stands" when
  • they are made for sitting?

  • Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after
    light"?

  • Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the
    unexpected expected?

  • Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

  • Speaking of which, how can those two phrases be
    "exact opposites"?

  • Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite
    things?

  • Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

  • If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

  • If all the world is a stage, where is the
  • audience sitting?

  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  • Why is bra singular and panties plural?

  • Why do you press harder on the buttons
  • of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

  • Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?

  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  • Why do they call it a TV set even if you only have one?

  • Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Now, if you are "terribly pleased" with yourself for getting through these "clearly
misunderstood" oxymorons and confusing questions, treat yourself with some "diet ice
cream."

Yes, we'll stop...!
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