If you can’t manage a grin, at least groan. A MyBestYears.com coffee mug goes
out to Johnny H. from Amarillo, TX
THE DOG NAMED MACE
A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit
of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in his backyard and dropped his wrench
losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next
morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing
what had happened he looked up to the heavens and proclaimed, "A grazing Mace, how
sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!"
We don’t stop playing because we grow old…!!! Submitted by Annie C., from
beautiful Hilo, Hawaii
THE FLOWER SHOW
Two sweet elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a
flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said, "Life is so darned boring. We never have any fun any
more. For $5.00 I'd take all my clothes off, including my undies, and streak nekkid
through that stodgy old flower show!"
"You're on!" gasped the other old lady, quickly reaching in her purse and pulling out a
$5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely clothes-
less, streaked as fast as she could manage through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud
applause and shrill whistling.
The smiling and still-nude lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering
crowd.
"What happened?" asked her puzzled friend.
"Well, I just won first prize as Best Dried Arrangement!!!"
Seen floating around anonymously on the web…sent in by Corey T. from
Pittsburgh, PA
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF US SURVIVORS
First, our mothers took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get
tested for diabetes when they were carrying us. Some of them even smoked and had an
alcoholic drink now and then.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based
paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our
bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from
this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we
weren't overweight because we were always outside playing!
Speaking of which, remember when we would leave home in the morning and play all day,
as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. Still, we were okay.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we
learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo's, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 199
channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no text
messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. Instead, we had
real friends, and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from
these accidents.
We played with worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us
forever.
We were given toy guns for our birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls,
and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or
just yelled for them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to
learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually
sided with the law!
Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and
inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it
all.
And you are one of them—CONGRATULATIONS!
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?
out to Johnny H. from Amarillo, TX
THE DOG NAMED MACE
A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit
of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in his backyard and dropped his wrench
losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next
morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing
what had happened he looked up to the heavens and proclaimed, "A grazing Mace, how
sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!"
We don’t stop playing because we grow old…!!! Submitted by Annie C., from
beautiful Hilo, Hawaii
THE FLOWER SHOW
Two sweet elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a
flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said, "Life is so darned boring. We never have any fun any
more. For $5.00 I'd take all my clothes off, including my undies, and streak nekkid
through that stodgy old flower show!"
"You're on!" gasped the other old lady, quickly reaching in her purse and pulling out a
$5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely clothes-
less, streaked as fast as she could manage through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud
applause and shrill whistling.
The smiling and still-nude lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering
crowd.
"What happened?" asked her puzzled friend.
"Well, I just won first prize as Best Dried Arrangement!!!"
Seen floating around anonymously on the web…sent in by Corey T. from
Pittsburgh, PA
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF US SURVIVORS
First, our mothers took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get
tested for diabetes when they were carrying us. Some of them even smoked and had an
alcoholic drink now and then.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based
paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our
bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from
this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we
weren't overweight because we were always outside playing!
Speaking of which, remember when we would leave home in the morning and play all day,
as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. Still, we were okay.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we
learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo's, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 199
channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no text
messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. Instead, we had
real friends, and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from
these accidents.
We played with worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us
forever.
We were given toy guns for our birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls,
and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or
just yelled for them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to
learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually
sided with the law!
Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and
inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it
all.
And you are one of them—CONGRATULATIONS!
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?
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